Sister girl, if you are where I was up to a month ago, dating is something ancient to your repertoire. There are a number of reasons that could be, I can tell you mine which is simple.

I was dating someone tumultuously on and off for years. Upon graduating from University in spring of 2009, I finally called it quits and moved to Canada — my country of birth — to look for work as a teacher.

In that span of time of about two years, I was not FOCUS or CONCERNED about dating. The door was CLOSED. I wanted to get MARRIED, but too much other STIMULI was GOING ON. I was excited to move back to Canada, see my friends, and move into my new apartment.

Included in the AGENDA, was pursuing the VISION and MISSION the LORD gave me for a BLOG MINISTRY. I put all my focus, energy, and time into it along with SEARCHING for a TEACHING JOB and spending TIME with FAMILY.

But my time there did not last long. Unable to find a stable job, I moved back to the US to live with my parents. I’ve been back a period of 5 months now, and am still passionately working on this Ministry Blog — it gives me great joy and purpose! However there’s been a shift.

God has opened up some doors that have previously been closed:

1. I’m READY to DATE again!

2. I GOT a fantastic job!

I don’t know if it’s because my biological clock is ticking, my Ministry is rooted and established, or because I’ve recently moved back to the States where my PRESSURES are not that GREAT. But a SPRING SEASON has ARRIVED in my LIFE propelling ME into MY DESTINY!

And there’s MORE! This NEW job places me right SMACK DAB in the MIDDLE of an ENVIRONMENT consisting of about 70% dignified, and honest male workers!

I’ve NEVER looked at SO MANY left ring fingers in all of my life! OPPORTUNITY is knocking everyday for ME. The LORD has SET ME up REAL WELL. Thank you JESUS!

But ENOUGH about ME.

That little BLURB was to TELL YOU that I was most likely in the SAME PLACE you are right now, and that I am just sailing out off…

PERHAPS YOU have been single for some time, and NOT thinking about dating right now. You could be discouraged, too busy, or even given up on meeting a prospect for marriage because it’s been so LONG and you’re getting OLDER.

If you’re thinking your TIME has come to DATE again, you’re TIRED of being in the HOUSE, and you WANT to take SOME STEPS that will ENCOURAGE YOU and have you MORE HOPEFUL, then it is not by chance you are READING this post.

Your SPRING SEASON has ARRIVED as well, and there are some FLOWERS ready to BLOOM. Here are 7 steps you can take:

 

1. Attitude – I’ve come to understand that attitude is first and foremost important to getting back to dating.Without the right attitude of open-mindedness, expectation, hope, and trust in God that he will SEND you the RIGHT suitor one day, you’re CLOSING the very DOOR you KNOCKED on asking God to MAKE it HAPPEN! (Matt 7:7).

Your faith that you will get married ONE DAY, is the evidence that it will HAPPEN (Heb. 11:1). Having the right attitude about dating is showing God that you are walking by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7) no matter how long you’ve been single, or how old you are.

 

2. Know Who Your Waiting For — This is CRUCIAL, and as a MATTER of FACT, I believe knowing the exact type of man you desire to marry, his Godly values, his human traits and behaviours, will HELP bring him forth QUICKER, and give you CONVICTION sooner than LATER that he’s THE ONE!

CARRYING the VISION, the BLUEPRINT, of who you want to MARRY shows a HIGH LEVEL of faith, commitment, and readiness to God for marriage and covenant.

What type of guy do you want to marry? What Godly values are you looking for? What characteristics do you want him to have? Which ones don’t you want him to have? (It’s important to know that too.)

This is VISION. We NEED vision, a CLEAR PICTURE of who we want to marry. It’s God who has given us this VISION anyway, but your acknowledgement and value of it will show God you are desiring his will for your life and living in expectation.

You can write down (Hab 2:2) who you’re looking for to EMPOWER you while you WAIT, and for better CLARIFICATION. This will help you to stick to your expectations and not give in to the wrong man.

We need to know what to expect so we will recognize it when we see it. If you begin to date someone that does not match up to your vision, or is displaying traits that you don’t like, it is a sign that you need to shut it down right away. This will save you time, energy, and heartache!

 

3. Grooming – Sister, lets get it together. The 1st LADY of your CHURCH should not be the only one groomed and presentable on a regular basis. If we want to put ourselves back on the MARKET, we NEED to PHYSICALLY DISPLAY who we are in CHRIST.

This is not being superficial, for you are representing yourself as a woman of VIRTUE that takes care of herself and her temple.

People KNOW the TRUTH about a PERSON more by their non verbal communication (dress, facial expressions, habits, behaviours) than verbal. This is a STATISTIC in the Communication field. So we better START working on our appearance to EFFECTIVELY communicate who we ARE!

We need to start taking extra time finding the right clothes to wear (flattering the shape), fixing our hair, wearing skirts and/or heels once and a while. Putting on a few items of make up doesn’t hurt either.

Wearing a scarf to the grocery store with curlers underneath is NO LONGER an option. Chipped nail polish on a date is a faux pas. Wearing baggy clothing on the regular has got to stop. A MAN of God will notice a woman right a way who dresses with dignity and honour.

You never  know who you’ll meet and where.  Every OPPORTUNITY where you are visible and presentable is an OPEN INVITATION for a man to WHISK into your life, and SPARK up a conversation. So dress virtuously.

You don’t have to purchase a NEW wardrobe or spend a fortune shopping. A few items of clothing that you can mix and match well will suffice. Not only will you draw men’s attention, but you will FEEL GOOD about yourself and FEEL MORE like the WOMAN of WORTH that you are.

 

4. Diet/Exercise — So you have the right attitude, know the type of man to expect, and you’re taking extra time to groom yourself nicely. On a side bar, it is important that you are taking care of your body on a regular basis, keeping fit, and eating right. This is something you should be doing already, but if you haven’t started yet, NOW is the TIME!

Healthy eating and exercise will get you to your OPTIMAL BEST. Your HEART will be HEALTHY, elongating your LIFE, you will TRIMM excess body fat, FIRM and STRENGTHEN your muscles for MORE ENERGY, STRENGTH and STAMINA, and you will ELEVATE  your MOOD.

Your skin complexion will also IMPROVE, and your CLOTHES will fit BETTER. To help you out, get your FREE copy of my Spirit-filled FITNESS eBook here.

 

5. Be Visible — Don’t hide out in a closet, behind a desk, under a rock, or in the TRENCHES. Get out GIRL!

STOP hybernating. Joie de vivre! Get out the house on a regular basis, find something to get involved in that will put yourself in the LINE of VISION of SUITORS.

RUTH was in BOAZ’s line of SIGHT in the FIELD when he NOTICED HER.What SOCIAL ACTIVITIES and/or GROUPS can you get involved in? There are christian singles groups and ministries to partake in. Or maybe you can be like me and find a job where you are interacting with new people everyday.

Another option is setting up a profile on a Christian dating site. Some women object to this. It’s not my thing either, but I had a co worker that met her MAN of GOD — a PASTOR — through an ONLINE DATING SITE and is NOW happily MARRIED.

It is definitely an OPTION because you’re putting yourself in the LINE of VISION of Godly men. Brainstorm places where you can be on a regular basis then EXECUTE!

 

6. Let Your Light Shine! — This ONE can EASILY have you standing out from the REST and it shouldn’t be HARD to do. If you are a faithful believer, seeking the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness above all ELSE, I can guarantee you your light is SHINNING for the WORLD to SEE.

Be who you are in CHRIST. Let the FRUITS of the SPIRIT speak for YOU. LOVE on others. Serve. Be JOYFUL of the LORD as it is your STRENGTH & your SONG! Don’t forget to SMILE! Be at PEACE with OTHERS. Forgive, and be forgiven. There are GOOD PLANS and MUCH HOPE for your FUTURE!

You are the SALT of the EARTH will the ability to CHANGE and AFFECT things for Christ. Your Godly acts for the Lord and the LIFESTYLE it brings will have you respected and CREATE the right REPUTATION for YOU around the RIGHT PEOPLE.

 

7. Give All likely Suitors a Chance! — Were you PICKY when DATING BACK in the DAY? Many women go by instant attraction/chemistry when they date. But if you only go out on DATES by this variable (which is FLESHY anyway), you will miss out on OPPORTUNITIES that God can work through, surprise, and impress you.

Plus, the more dates you go on, the higher the chances, and the closer you’ll get to meeting ‘the one’.

Many married couples will tell you it took a while for there to be attraction between the two. So it doesn’t hurt to get to know a man even if you don’t see him in a romantic way. A good marriage starts with good friendship. The rest will evolve into what God wants it to be.

Who knows, maybe you’ll discover some additional characteristics you’d like in a husband. You may find out about more hang outs/ministries, or he could be someone to just network with.

 

Dating is a process that can take some time. Weeks, months, years and years. But by taking all the aforementioned steps, you will be on the right path to meeting your destiny. To conclude, all these are great steps to take to get back to dating, but it is important that I mention, DON’T BE DESPERATE!

Relax, have fun, let your DESTINY unfold in the fulness of it’s own TIME. Some women say they met their husband when they WEREN’T looking.

KEEP the FAITH, WALK in expectation, and STAY committed to the LORD. BASK in this SINGLE SEASON and the ASSIGNMENT God has for you RIGHT NOW.

It won’t last forever.

 

Other Posts in the Ministry:

11 Likely Places to Meet God’s Match For You

9 Signals Warning You to Shut It Down With the New Guy

Would God Send Your Future Husband Via Social Media?

7 Ways Innovative Ministries Empower the Church